finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My bed smells like the plague
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
