Sponge bath it is.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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