pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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