I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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