i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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