no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
