How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
