i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize