Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
