You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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