I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
