Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
