i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
