My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
