i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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