well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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