I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize