we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
