Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
