Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
