He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
