I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
