it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize