I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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