I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
