And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
