no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
