And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Life is so much better after having sex.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
