: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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