"it" just moved
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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