I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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