Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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