I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
