You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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