i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
