Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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