i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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