Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
