Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
