when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
