She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
