we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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