this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
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stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
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If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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