Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
