Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
