I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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