I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
