Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
