i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
