Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
