WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
