we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
