I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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