And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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