There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
