You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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