Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
