eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
