i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
