You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can I color on your dick again?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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