Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
