Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
