but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She needs sedatives and a leash
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize