You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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