Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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